AN HONEST APOLOGY

Once again, I am sorry for the silence over here. I am currently wrapping up and starting on some new projects, so please accept that as a decent excuse. Another factor in not posting here is – quite honestly – a crippling case of depression that depletes my energy levels significantly. What can I say? Being a 50-something year old man living in a tiny apartment in your hometown will do that to you. I tell you this not for attention, but just to be honest.

I don’t know if it is due to all the reasons listed above, but I have been giving serious consideration to pulling the plug on this newsletter along with writing in general in the new year.

Why?

At the end of the day, I have written three books and thousands of words that float around on both the internets and print. I have nothing to prove to myself or others anymore, if I ever did. If the point of writing was leaving a ‘legacy’, there’s more than enough of it out there to provide one. If I want to crawl out of this mound of shit that’s been piled upon me over the past four (!) years, I need to start a new chapter in my life. What that new chapter will be is lost on me, but it needs to happen soon. Even if it’s a job stuffing cotton balls into aspirin bottles, it’ll be something. The constant hustle to squeak by on writing about esoteric music has gotten to be too much for my already anxiety-battered brain.

If you want to cancel your subscription, it’s understood. For now, all I ask for is some patience while I figure out what my next step will be.

Yes, this amount of candidness makes me wince too. But at this point in the game, it’s all I got to give you.