EXCUSE ME WAITRESS, I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY BREAK

Once again, I apologize for the lack of content here. My time has been split between actual paid writing gigs (good) and still being stuck in this limbo of having no official place to hang my hat after six months. I am thankful for the writing as it is familiar and a much needed distraction from the issue of being a 52 year old temporarily living in the former bedroom of my goddaughter. But once I poke my head out of it, it’s a steady diet of internet rabbit holes looking at real estate, apartments, and room share possibilities, which then sends me tunneling in my own brain over the uncertainty of my future. Can an immuno-compromised person with a robo-bladder and limited financial resources live independently in this festering poophole of a country? When I finally have no choice but to strike out on my own, will I fail miserably and end up in the street? Does all this fretting look bad on a man of my age in a similar way as skinny jeans?

My feelings on what lies ahead flits between hope and fear – but mostly the latter. Some days, I tell myself this should be a second chance at life after all the poking and prodding and surgery of the past few years, but what exactly this ‘second chance’ will look like is beyond me. A major change of scenery? Settling back where I came from? If it’s the second one, I’d like to think selling most of my records and other worldly possessions will contribute to more than a studio apartment on Route One. Just thinking about it makes my stomach churn. Or maybe that’s the combination of energy drinks and oatmeal.

Nonetheless, none of these moves can be made for another month or so, sadly leaving me more time to ponder and wallow. I still can’t even get through a few pages of a book without telling myself it’s a waste of time and I need to work on the future. Besides Story Warz and the Pee Wee Herman documentary, some of these sounds below have provided aberration. It’s my musical offering for having to sit through the above whiny bullhank.

AND ONCE AGAIN: If anyone has any leads on a place to live in the central NJ area – preferably in Ewing, Hamilton, Bordentown, Florence, or anywhere in that vicinity – PLEASE get in touch. Due to being on social security disability, I can only afford so much, but it’ll be a steady income coming in. I would be open to renting a room as long as it has a private bathroom and allows a cat. I’d be up for something out of NJ if the offer was right. Stability is what I’m in need of right now, so any help would be greatly appreciated.